What technology would I be better off without, WordPress? Well, considering that I practically live in a damned soddy on the prairie anyway, I can’t think of much. I don’t even have a microwave or a dishwasher (yes, I’m a modern day Luddite, I know) in The World’s Butt Ugliest Kitchen, let alone a thermostat in my living room that I can control from my mother’s house 1000 miles away from my 100 year old humble abode in Gopher Crotch, Nebraska. Not that I plan to visit her any time soon (there’s a can of worms that we’re going to keep tightly sealed for now, thanks.) There’s knob and tube wiring in my basement, but not an inch of fiber optic cable or however the hell you get internet that’s not slower than the speed of smell. I only have a television because it was given to us by Fred’s now dead grandma, and if I could figure out how to kill it and make it look like an accident, my life would be considerably more peaceful. This was probably the wrong question to ask someone whose house looks like a Carnegie library that no one visits.
I can certainly live without ridiculous inventions like refrigerators with television screens in them or washing machines with WiFi. Can you picture where all this technology is going? “Sorry, Timmy, no breakfast today. The toaster’s doing a firmware update.” Yikes.
I think I’ll just stick to knowing how to do things for myself, like opening the refrigerator door or mowing my lawn. At the rate we’re going, I’m going to be the leader of this idiocracy when the lights finally go out, because I can read a book, cook a meal, and brew a pot of coffee all without using an app on my phone. I’ll also be the only writer left on Earth with my super secret knowledge of how a typewriter works.
So, to answer your question, WordPress, I’m just going to say, “all of them.”
Cat Hoskins 